I am re-reading, ‘Becoming Whole and Holy’ written by Brown, Dahl, and Reuschling for a class I am taking. The book is an integrative conversation about Christian formation. A chapter about frozen individuals and systems challenged my attitude and response to unhealthy relationships.
Frozen individual and systems have rigid rules, a narrow range of allowable behavior and attitudes, and operates on an include or exclude relational model. An example from the generation older than myself is a parent or church that considers playing cards to be sinful because of the link to gamboling. There are some cards that are acceptable such as Old Maids and Rook cards. Any cards with kings, queens, jacks, club, diamonds, spades and hearts are sinful no matter what card game is played with them.
Life is frozen into a solid cube of meaning as defined very carefully by the authority member of the group. Members that do not follow the rules are often viewed as wicked and not to be associated with even if they are close family members.
The authors raised the question of how can such an individual or system be thawed. A person with hypothermia is thawed by close contact of a warm being. Frozen relationships need the warmth of human connection. My frustration and judgment on a frozen individual or system makes me cold and unable to bring warmth to the relationship.
How do we let God use us to thaw others out?
Jesus gave us an example with the parable of the two sons in Luke 15. The father received his wayward, son back but the brother was frozen. Love is the warming agent. Love thaws the frozen.
Luke 15:20
20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
Frozen individual and systems have rigid rules, a narrow range of allowable behavior and attitudes, and operates on an include or exclude relational model. An example from the generation older than myself is a parent or church that considers playing cards to be sinful because of the link to gamboling. There are some cards that are acceptable such as Old Maids and Rook cards. Any cards with kings, queens, jacks, club, diamonds, spades and hearts are sinful no matter what card game is played with them.
Life is frozen into a solid cube of meaning as defined very carefully by the authority member of the group. Members that do not follow the rules are often viewed as wicked and not to be associated with even if they are close family members.
The authors raised the question of how can such an individual or system be thawed. A person with hypothermia is thawed by close contact of a warm being. Frozen relationships need the warmth of human connection. My frustration and judgment on a frozen individual or system makes me cold and unable to bring warmth to the relationship.
How do we let God use us to thaw others out?
Jesus gave us an example with the parable of the two sons in Luke 15. The father received his wayward, son back but the brother was frozen. Love is the warming agent. Love thaws the frozen.
Luke 15:20
20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
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