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How to Have Respectful Conversations

9/10/2012

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The other day I attended a "Respectful Conversations" workshop that was hosted at a local church in my community. Respectful Conversations a project of the Minnesota Council of Churches supported by a grant from the Bush Foundation The goal is learning to "talk across differences in a way that stitches us together rather than tear us apart." Our topic for the evening was the upcoming vote on the marriage amendment.

People have deeply seated opinions about whether marriage should be legislatively defined as between one man and one woman. A facilitator at each table guided us through a variety of questions. "What is our name and what did we give up to attend?" "What is one thing about us that most people would not know by looking at us?" "What background, experience or core values shape our opinion on the marriage amendment."

There were people who supported and those who disagreed with the marriage amendment. Most shared that because God is a God of love, marriage should be love based and not gender based. Each of us expressed a belief in the Bible and in God, but arrived at two distinct conclusions.
 
I beleive God is a God of love, but has established marriage between a man and a woman. We did talk across our differences in a way that did not tear us apart. Here are the ground rules we followed that made our conversation respectful.

1. Speak for yourself.
2. Respect the opinions of others.
3. Be brief.
4. Listen carefully.
5. Allow people to pass on speaking their opinion.

1 Peter 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.

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God Loves Clara Joy

7/31/2012

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A family in our church celebrated the birth of their second child yesterday. Nine months and one day of excited anticipation ended in great joy. The parents knew their baby was a girl before she was born. They had pictures of her from the ultrasound and now they have Clara Joy in their arms. Her parents will marvel at her first words, first steps and first firsts of all kinds of things. As Clara Joy gets older they will discover her favorite colors, the things that make her giggle and what she is passionate about.

God already knows all those things about Clara Joy. God has seen her before she was ever an image on an ultrasound; even before she was a positive result on a pregnancy test.

Psalms 139:13-16
For You created my inmost being;
    You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    Your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You
    when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16     Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
    were written in Your book
    before one of them came to be.

God knows when Clara Joy will get her first skinned knee. He knows if she will like baiting her own hook or if she will play ice hockey. God knows what her greatest joy in life will be and what will be the greatest wound in her life. God has already decided when He will step into her life in bold and dramatic ways protecting, providing and bringing healing to her life. He has already decided when He will allow the corruptness of the world to injure her and when He will allow her free choices to go in directions that take her further from His side. And when God’s love allows pain into Clara Joy’s life, God’s heart will break even deeper than her parents’ hearts.

God has destiny and purpose for Clara Joy. He has plans to prosper her and to bring her joy.  God will always be available to Clara Joy whenever she pursues Him with passion.

Jeremiah 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek Me and find me when you seek Me with all your heart.

Everything that God has for Clara Joy, He also has for you.

Take a minute to re-read this blog and after the first paragraph say your “name”, “I”, “me” or “my” wherever you read Clara Joy’s name or reference to her.
How does this affect  your day?


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Baccalaureate

5/29/2012

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Tonight is our high school’s baccalaureate service.  This is a student-initiated inter-church Christian service for the graduating seniors.   A mix of students from various churches lead the worship and students are selected to share about their faith. When a pastor in the community has son or daughter graduating, they are invited to share a sermon to the graduating class. For many students, this may be the last service they attend.

Following graduation, there is a summer full of open houses, summer jobs, and heading off to college. Unless the college freshman is attending a religious university with required chapel, many students forgo attending any church and often neglect their spiritual life altogether. A survey by George Barna shows that 65% of Christian high school students will leave their faith. So, a room with 100 Christian students, 65 of them will stop attending church and leave their after they graduate from high school.

Several reasons account for this change. New freedom, the change of routine and busyness of their freshman year changes their routine of life. Proper sleep, balanced diet, regular exercising and many other healthy disciplines are cast aside during college years.

Another reason their spiritual life is neglected is because it was something they had to do while growing up in their family and had never become a real relationship with God who loves them. I call this the “take your medicine” or “eat your vegetable” syndrome. They had to do it because they were told it was good for them, but the more they went, the less they enjoyed Christianity.

Many students face the same temptations in college that they did in high school, but now away from family or friends experimented and after plunging in, found it difficult to get out. Other students had never thought critically about the big questions of life. A brilliant professor or the belief systems of other students pulled them off of unsecured moorings. Still other students walk away from their faith because they grew tired of seeing people profess faith in Christ, but did not live a faith in Christ.

The baccalaureate service comes at the beginning of a student’s most important years of their lives. The next five years many students serve in the military, graduate from college or tech school, start a career, marry and begin a family. More than ever, they need the words from the Bible to transform their lives.
Ephesians 2:4-10 (NLT)
 4 But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, 5 that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) 6 For He raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. 7 So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of His grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all He has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.
8 God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.


What would you say to the graduating class if you were giving the baccalaureate message?
Comment here:


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Mark's World and God's World

5/22/2012

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God’s world is so much different than my world. The way He chooses to do things is so much better than the way I do things.

In my world, if expectations are not met the consequences are negative. When our children were growing up, an unpleasant summertime activity was weeding the garden. There was a greater success if there was a specific reward when the weeding was complete. If the garden was weeded in the morning I would take them swimming, or some reward for their success.

If they breached the unwritten contract there would be a new contract without a reward and perhaps a punishment. Because they did not finish weeding, they were not going swimming and they had to clean their rooms instead.

God operates much differently.

Jeremiah 33:31-32

“The time is coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah.
32 It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand
    to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them,”
declares the Lord.

Right now I would be holding my breath wondering what harder task is ahead because of failing to do what God wanted us to do in the first written contract or covenant. But God’s new covenant is BETTER than the old covenant. God begins to explain that the sacrifices will end because Jesus will be the perfect sacrifice for our sins on the cross. Jesus will be our High Priest whom we can have a relationship with God through, not just the priests in the temple. The Holy Spirit will be God’s guide in our minds and hearts.

Jeremiah 31:33-34
“This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord.
“I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.
34 No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest,” declares the Lord.
“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

Instead of a more restrictive or punishing covenant, God gave us a SUPERIOR covenant. I am glad God is in charge and not me, because I need to operate more like God in my life.


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Greater Love

3/8/2012

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John15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
Greater love. An interesting phrase to consider. What is greater love? What does greater love do?

This week, our nation got to read and hear what greater love looks like. Two children got embraced by greater love.

Last Friday, Stephanie Decker saw the tornado approaching her home. Her husband, Joe was at the closed school where he teaches when the storms hit Marysville, Indiana. Stephanie wrapped her 8 year old son, Dominic, and 5 year old daughter, Reese, in a blanket with her.

She shielded them with her body while in their walkout basement. When it was over, the home was leveled, but her children unharmed. Dominic, ran for help, bringing neighbors to rescue his mother from the load of debris that had fallen on her. The 36 year old mother had both legs amputated later in the hospital.

An interview with Stephanie can be heard at
http://abcnews.go.com/US/hero-mom-stephanie-decker-recounts-saving-kids-tornado/story?id=15854664#.T1i-eHnNlGU

No regrets from Stephanie, only thankfulness that her children are safe.
Greater love.

Have you experienced instances of greater love in your life? Share your comments.


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    Mark Radeke

    Husband of one, father of five, pastor and friend of many.

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