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Not Parenting Your Children

4/23/2012

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The heart of loving your children and wanting the best for their lives never ends, but parenting does. Our children are gifts given by God and parents carry an incredible responsibility raising them in the way they should go. The final stage of parenting is releasing our children into all that God has equipped them to be and do in this world.

Larry and Becky Dorman celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary today. They have four children and nine grandchildren. Larry is in his 27th year of serving as pastor at Country Faith Fellowship in Clearbrook, Mn. Becky is the co-director of Clear Waters Life Center, a non-profit organization in two communities which offers Adult Basic Education, Youth Programs, Chemical Dependency programs, Grief Support, Parenting classes, Counseling and Coaching services.

Larry and Becky shared at our church their personal stories of experiences with their children and biblical principles that have guided their lives. The theme was adult children, blended families, grandchildren and drifters.

Highlights:
>All children need to hear from their parents three things:
1.       I love you.
2.       I am proud of you.
3.       You are really good at _____________.
That need to hear those three things never goes away.

>You cannot try to be your young child’s friend or buddy, you are their parent. When your children grow into an adult your role changes from parent to friend.

>Give advice or counsel to your adult children only when asked.

>Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go,
   and when he is old he will not turn from it."
This proverb is a principle, but not a promise.  Our role as parents is to tell our children about Jesus Christ and to live passionately for Him. Because God has given each of us a free will, this does not guarantee our children will embrace Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

>Love your children even if they make terribly sinful
choices, because most often they know their choices do not win your approval, but both of you need your relationship more than silence or condemnation. Your love does not mean approval of their actions.

>It is too easy when we see our adult children or grandchildren in conflict to try to fix the problems. Be very cautious not to take an enabling role and borrow money, sign a loan, post bail, or anything that temporarily takes on their responsibilities.

>If your child has drifted from Jesus, you cannot love them back to Jesus. Your love is important, but Jesus is the only way to the Father.

You can hear Larry and Becky online on this website at the Online Messages and click on message_4-22mp3

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    Mark Radeke

    Husband of one, father of five, pastor and friend of many.

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