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How to Have Respectful Conversations

9/10/2012

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The other day I attended a "Respectful Conversations" workshop that was hosted at a local church in my community. Respectful Conversations a project of the Minnesota Council of Churches supported by a grant from the Bush Foundation The goal is learning to "talk across differences in a way that stitches us together rather than tear us apart." Our topic for the evening was the upcoming vote on the marriage amendment.

People have deeply seated opinions about whether marriage should be legislatively defined as between one man and one woman. A facilitator at each table guided us through a variety of questions. "What is our name and what did we give up to attend?" "What is one thing about us that most people would not know by looking at us?" "What background, experience or core values shape our opinion on the marriage amendment."

There were people who supported and those who disagreed with the marriage amendment. Most shared that because God is a God of love, marriage should be love based and not gender based. Each of us expressed a belief in the Bible and in God, but arrived at two distinct conclusions.
 
I beleive God is a God of love, but has established marriage between a man and a woman. We did talk across our differences in a way that did not tear us apart. Here are the ground rules we followed that made our conversation respectful.

1. Speak for yourself.
2. Respect the opinions of others.
3. Be brief.
4. Listen carefully.
5. Allow people to pass on speaking their opinion.

1 Peter 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.

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    Mark Radeke

    Husband of one, father of five, pastor and friend of many.

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