Bad Mothers

5/10/2012

The Bible does not gloss over and air brush people to make them look good. The Bible contains raw, truth- filled events and people including mothers who were bad.

Lot’s wife was fleeing with her family their city of residence, Sodom, because God was going to destroy the city for its’ great wickedness. God had warned Lot’s family not to stop or look back. The longing of what she was leaving behind was too much for Lot’s wife. She looked back and became a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19)
Lot’s daughters become mothers by getting their father drunk and having sex with him as he lay in a drunken stupor. (Genesis 19)
Potipher’s wife tried to seduce their handsome slave, Joseph. When he refused her forceful advances she accused him of attempted rape and he was thrown in prison. (Genesis 39)
Maacah, used her influence as queen mother while her son, Abijah ruled over Judah. She reinstituted the cultic worship of the fertility gods Baal and Asherah. (1 Kings 15)
Jezebel married Ahab, the warrior king of Israel and together they became wicked rulers who followed false gods instead of the only true, God. (1 Kings 16)
Athaliah – following the death of her husband and son, each of whom reigned as king, massacred all but one of her own family so she could rule over Judah. (2 Kings 11)
Herodias, hated John the Baptizer, because of he spoke against her marriage to Antipas. She was the divorced wife of Antipas’ half brother, Philip. Her daughter’s dance pleased the king so that he promised to give her anything she wished. Herodias had her daughter request the head of John the Baptizer on a platter. A king can never break his promise. (Matthew 14)

Bad mothers are present today causing pain and heartache for their families living in dysfunctional households. Mother’s Day is not a day they want to give flowers or even a card. My grandfather was an alcoholic and my mother broke the cycle of alcoholism, but brought anger, bitterness, and resentment into our family. My siblings and I often heard our mother say how much she hated us as we were growing up.

Our mother has great regrets from those times and each of us has forgiven her. This Mother’s Day, we will take her out for lunch, help her with some errands around her home, and each of will say words which were not always said or felt growing up. Today, the words are authentic and freely spoken often. “I love you, Mom!”

1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

If you grew up with a bad mother, how has God restored you?
Comment here:

16 Comments

felicia usama

5/29/2013 11:09:49 pm

I really appreciate your story and the power of Christ forgiveness that gave us the power to understand the power of love and forgiveness, and help us to forgive others as well. thank you.

Mark link

5/29/2013 11:56:15 pm

Felicia, your comment is a reminder that forgiveness is from the power of Christ, thanks!

Christine

11/25/2016 07:44:55 am

God has not restored me yet but it's pretty horrible my mother has always despised me takes me to court just making life terrible I'm 52 my mother is 73 and she's getting worse and worse with her hatefulness as I get older I hope this helps someone

Roberta Verner

1/17/2018 01:25:38 am

Same here! My mom hates me, and I still don't disrespect her! And she's taking my children from jus to hurt me.

Wanda Turner

10/5/2022 06:47:47 am

I've gone through somethings in my life with my mother she was addicted to pills and for some reason she would wake from being high off pills to beating me for no reason ,she would defend her men abd leave me with her man when I was 13 years old ut was bad in my house growing up I almost killed her boyfriend with hot water ,Even till this day I love her but. She worries about men and she speaks against me if Go around her to much so She's well and healthy so I keep my distance and take good care of my special needs daughter and try to keep her safe,

DeeDee link

9/26/2018 07:27:20 pm

I too have a hateful mum I am 53and she is 75 and still hating on me she told me when I was about ten years old that she tried to abort me cause I was a rape baby she only talks to me when I have something to offer her (money) we can go years without talking and she lives two doors down from me. I still pray for her. Thank you for letting me vent this.

Mark

9/27/2018 07:25:27 am

Dee Dee,
It is wonderful that God in His love, had another plan that kept you. Your mother may not change because she has not let go of her own bitterness and need to embrace forgiveness.
I am surprised at the love Jesus has put in me for my mother, in spite of how she responds.

Lynn

5/28/2019 11:50:40 am

I was raised by my grandmother since birth. I have never known my dad. My mother and stepfather were alcoholics. I knew my mom and she would come over to her mother/my grandmother's house quite often she just didn't raise me.
I didn't HATE my mom for not being there because I had my grandmother who was very loving😊
My mother and stepfather had 5 children together who suffered because of their neglectful parenting. All 5 siblings were lost to the system at some point but she got 4 of them back and 1of whom to this day we've NEVER been reunited and that's been over 30 years!
I grew up and vowed with the attitude to NEVER become an alcoholic and to MAKE SURE when I had kids that they would know their father!
Guess what! I did NOT become an alcoholic but instead I MARRIED one. Not too long after he became addicted to drugs. It was when I had my babies and I ALLOWED them to endure things no child should ever experienced. Having to live with family due to no electricity, no water, no food because dad only cared about his habits. Then comes the physical and mental abuse. My children and I had to go live at a domestic violence shelter. Eventually I went back to him "because I loved him, I DID NOT want my children to grow up without a father like I did and I wanted that fairy tale ending". So you see, even though I did not become an alcoholic I believe not having a strong family unit still played a part of my adult decisions. It wasn't until I gave my life to CHRIST until I realized my mother could not be the loving mother I needed her to be WITHOUT CHRIST as her LORD AND PERSONAL SAVIOR. I'm woman enough to admit my faults and once I realized the mistakes I made as a mother. How my children suffered because of my decisions. I was able to sympathize with my mom. GOD allowed me to realize that she began drinking as a way to cope with the abuse.
I am the proud blessed mother of 2 adult children ages 29 and 27 whom I tell them all the time how much I love them and please forgive me for subjecting them to such a lifestyle that they didn't deserve.
I separated from their dad 2007 and divorced in 2010. One of the BEST DECISIONS I've ever made!!!!!!!
BECAUSE OF THE GRACE AND LOVE OF GOD I am now a Minister, I am in my 2nd year of college, plus I have LEGALLY obtained my maiden name!!!!
NOBODY BUT GOD!!!!
My children and I are closer than ever!!!
NOBODY BUT GOD MADE THIS POSSIBLE!!!
Please feel free to ask questions or comment.

Amy Thomas

10/11/2019 10:25:30 am

I grew up with a mother who never truly loved me and my brothers. We had a loving father who taught us about God but we only saw him on weekends while our weeks were filled with chaos, manipulation, scapegoating, lies, the list goes on. My dad was my hero for with him was the only time I was happy and at peace. He died when I was 22 and my world was crushed. My mother was horrible to us during this time but I continued to put up with it because she was all I had left. My mothers abuse continued into my being an adult. I finally walked away at the age of 31 when she tried to turn my husband against me and threatened to do everything in her power to end my relationship with my husband and to help take all my kids away from me. She said I destroyed her life so she would destroy mine. I finally realized she didnt love me and never had.I forgive her and feel sorry for her but i could never be a part of her life again. God has blessed me though. I have a wonderful husband and three wonderful kids of my own. God is great.

Katherine Lemay

4/17/2020 07:08:33 pm

I am a mother of three. I gave my first born daughter up to her grandmother, so I didn't have to take the responsibility of raising her. I reunited with her when she was 18. I wanted to have a relationship with her. At that point it was to late. I missed her entire life because of my selfishness. I'm depressed today because of that decision I made. She has had to endure that pain because of her own mother not having love in her. I can never forgive myself for causing that pain. I hope God can forgive me.

Mark R Radeke link

4/18/2020 12:38:33 pm

Katherine,
Thank you for your response to this blog .
Two truths:
1. In God's timetable it is only too late when we leave this life and begin our forever life. Until we die, it is not too late. Our Father is a restorer and it is one of His many specialties.
2. God can and does forgive. 1 John 1:9 reminds us that when we confess, which you did in your response, He is faithful & just to forgive. It is up to you to receive and accept His full forgiveness.
Mark

Reynold

10/21/2020 01:49:02 am

Need some advice here.i am a 48yr old male.my father die when I was just 7yrs .I grew up seeing my mother struggle to raise us .I quit school at an early age to work and help out .when my father died he left my mother in a 1 room wooden house on a piece of rent land .I was called to assit when my mother was about to be evicted from the land.i purchess a piece of land put my mum house one side and build a home for on on the other side.i then transferm my mother's home into a 3 bedroom wooden house which my two younger sisters finished by adding a kitchen and a bathroom.now I have an older brother who is always at my mother's house making my life hell and my mum sits there and making me look as the bad one.how do I deal with this.

10/24/2020 08:38:46 am

Reynold,
I am saddened to hear the pain and struggles you are going through. You have done a lot of good things for your mother. It must be frustrating that your brother and mother are not thankful.
We cannot control the actions of others. Forgive them. Forgiveness does not mean you are saying they are right and you are wrong. Forgiveness means you are letting go of any bitterness and frustration. It is releasing your brother and mother into the Lord's judgment.

1/5/2021 03:50:40 pm

to Reynold and anyone else reading this: I'm studying bible today, & I know both sides of the coins. I've put up with a severe borderline personality disorder mother my entire life😡. But I also had a son as a teen and then married and had two other kids. My point is my other son could almost say the same thing as you...older brother acted up for years. Seems the house hold was under his horrible narcissistic control👹.
But like you I took care of my mom.but all these stories Reynold we could tell ....but what's the main point?? I never got it for years... One thing I am learning..is me. You know what I did Reynold..for years, agonizing, guilt ridden miserable years
I mixed up my own ideas of duty with guilt or fear and then mix in religiousness and
👉 I was lacking the accuracy of actually studying it out.. without study... It's our mind and our interpretation.. what I think should be my duty ...which is incorrect! What am I seeing?
We need to set boundaries,
like: what we will take , what we will hear, what we will believe( family drama,lies) AND Draw the line! Draw it... GOD SET BOUNDS WE MUST TOO! Acts17:26 God sets limits on the physical world.
Luke 16:26 God said bounds, you can't pass from hell to heaven.
Jhon 10:1 you can't enter in any other way then Christ which is a bound.
A boundary means: something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent ,also its the limit of what someone considers to be acceptable behavior...God tells us what is out of bounds too....we need to see what some of us have allowed in our ignorance ( none of us knew didn't study) things we allowed in our lives were out of bounds! and damaging to us!
If Mom tries to complain to you about brother acting up over there... draw the line. Nope,mom not today. Why? Because folks
God says NO to you, if you are not within what is right just or acceptable....so you must draw the line with others of when what they're doing isn't right just or acceptable toward you don't give ear to complaining murmuring back biting I don't care what it is, evil speaking, telling people's personal past history that you have no business knowing that makes them look absolutely horrible...If you allow brothers,mom,sisters believe me
( I had one who had extreme addiction I should have drew the line could have gave them reason to truly change!)
tell your mom...mom,if you allow brother to act up in your home I got for you...mom, I don't want to hear about it.Mom, I know your smart & strong & you can solve this.Everyone We must all free ourselves through the scriptures Christ does not make us subject to dysfunctional people to live under them and their continual behaviors to serve them in their behavior.
To my mom: mom, I have done everything in my human power and abality to help you,I'm moving on. I believe you can have as much success as you want in this world & I want you to have success. I'm cutting all ties with you now,& I hope things work out for you.
Jesus never said to me to be
repeatedly verbally mentally spiritually and even at points physically abused or attacked by a family member to go to heaven,he bore it all,I need to follow him. Yeah, Jesus commanded me that I must pray for those people Matt 5:44-45 (Read)
which would include if that person that is "despitefully using" me is my own mother. When I obey that
Pray is bowing to Christ
enabling the person is serving Satan!
But I am not to let these old personal beliefs prey on me. Doing so would be letting Satan pray on me. every thing starts in the mind... if I think wrongly, I will go back to enabling. Sometimes coming from
👉dysfunctional homes, we become the servants of people ...when we are
👉supposed to be the servants of Christ. We can confuse the two (it's my family duty,I have to honor my mother...u suffer abuse and then in turn become desensitized to abuse)
and it becomes very dysfunctional and will kill you mentally. Remember 1cor 15:33 evil communications? Then, We look at the Pharisees being reproved by Christ about treatment of their parents right?
mat 15:3-8 , & you don't want to just give a "gift"and excuse yourself....but look at the character of the Pharisees, look at the scripture saying they were following
"a tradition made by man"
which caused them to dishonor their parent anyway ...they were not concerned about God's view... they were very selfish! That's not the condition of so many who have suffered under abuse! They have toiled under the opressors. And WE are concerned for God's view! So now when we understand we are not the Pharisee... & we must put away our old faulty thinking.My advice to anyone is yes, there needs to be forgiveness eph 4:31-32 that scripture includes me putting away any of my anger towards them,Yes, there is judgment on what needs to be done to handle your situation. But remember how God delivers it's through his word Psalms 34: 19. Proverbs 19:19 that's why you'll continue to deliver your family member

Martha

11/27/2020 03:42:34 pm

I have loved my mother all trough my childhood, but when growing up found out so many wicked things she done and the latest was, as my dad was taken to the hospital and was in his death bed, she stopped my nephew from calling me to let me know my dad was in the hospital having a hard time breathing when he finally called me I saw him intubated not able to talk he died that same night, I found out later my mother didn’t want my father to speak to me letting mr know that he wanted to leave me money which she later shared it in equal amounts?? with myself and my step sisters ,knowing that money was just for me as my father had told me twice when he was alive. I was so hurt and not totally about the money but how can a mother stop the biological daughter say goodbye to her father just so she can steal inheritance money. I’m a Christian and I’m having a hard time to forgive her I pray to God to let me not hurt about this and be able to move on since there is nothing I can do now.

Angel Seed

5/9/2021 07:51:31 pm

On this Mother’s Day I pray for the restoration of relationships between mothers & daughters. I repent for any mother or daughter who’s harboring unforgiveness in their heart because the other wasn’t what they needed them to be. I pray we all grow to have grace for one another like our Heavenly Father has for us. I rebuke the generational curses that have a hold on our bloodlines that are preventing us from having loving relationships. I pray for the women who haven’t forgiven themselves for abortions they’ve secretly & are caring that weight around. I pray for the women who despise their children because of feelings they have towards their fathers. Lord forgive those of us who are jealous& envious of their daughters lord. More than ever we need you to restore these relationships to make sure the baby girls coming into the world today don’t have to deal with the type of pain we have endured. I pray that the women who yern for motherly love to meet women who can fill that void for them. I pray for the women who feel that the roles are switched & they are teaching their mothers what they should’ve taught them, they are truly a blessing because even without the proper guidance they were able to become virtuous women.
Lord I pray anyone reading this have faith that your love & grace is sufficient. I pray they lay their problems and worries at your feet dear lord & build a relationship with you. I am so grateful for your mercy lord because no matter what you are a forgiving God & as long as our intentions are good you always make a way for us. Thank you father. In Jesus name we pray, amen 🙏🏾

Bad Mothers

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Mark Radeke

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